When People Show You Who They Are…

Believe them the first time. One of the hardest lessons you’ll ever learn in life is that not everyone you’re holding on to is supposed to be a part of your long term journey. No matter how much time and energy you invest in to a situation, friendship or relationship, when things are constantly going wrong, take it for what it is and move on. Let go of the excuses of why you have to hold on and realize that the lesson will continue to be harder for you to learn when you refuse to acknowledge it.

Today’s rant is going to be brief as its focus is rather simple — when people show you who they are, believe them the first time.

We always find ourselves at a crossroad with people we want to keep around that are constantly showing us they don’t deserve to be around. Perhaps this person can tell a good joke or two. Maybe you’ve know them all your life and cutting them out of the picture doesn’t seem like an option. Whatever your reason is, understand this : not everyone you’re trying to keep around is supposed to be around.

I can name a laundry list of people and situations that I held on to for the sake of trying that only ended up hurting me in the long run. The way I see it, your creator will place certain people around you for a reason. There’s a lesson you’re supposed to learn from them. Good or bad, you have to learn it. And the more you resist, the harder the lesson gets.

Let’s say, for example purposes, that you’re involved with a person who is constantly disappointing you. They’re full of empty promises and give you nothing but false hope. Yet, you continue to hold on to them hoping that one day, they’ll change. It starts off with them not calling when they said they would or not doing something they promised or agreed to do. Your first lesson was to see that this person wasn’t just unreliable, but inconsistent. But you ignored it. Now you’ve made more plans, and after this person has failed you time and time again, you make yourself readily available whenever they decide to be bothered. So now you’re all geeked up to be finally having time with this person who can never seem to make and keep a solid plan. And what happens? They let you down again. This time without even saying a word. Again, you’ve ignored your lesson, so the blow gets a little bit harder. But of course, you want this “thing” to work so bad because this person has so much potential, you can’t just give up. So again, you leave yourself open for them to cause you pain and even inflicting it on yourself by being naive and vulnerable. Once again, this person makes plans for a specific day and time and when the time comes, they are nowhere to be found. Now what? You’re left with your feelings on the floor thinking of how foolish you’ve made yourself look. As I said, the more you ignore the lesson, the harder the blow will be.

To wrap this thing up, when people show you who they are, believe them the first time. Don’t ever become so wrapped up in someone that you ignore your own worth in an attempt to show them theirs. Remember, what you allow is what will continue.

– Yolanda Danae’