What I Learned About Myself In The Drive Thru
I’m glad the title got your attention, but today’s rant is pretty serious. Okay, not really serious serious, but I really did learn something about myself a few days ago while ordering fast food.A couple days ago, I went out with a young fellow, and one could say that the evening went fine. We’ve known each other for some time and have been in contact off and on for a while now. Anyway, after we had gotten back from the outing, we stopped to grab a bite to eat before I would return to my domain and drift off into a much needed slumber. *Don’t you guys just live for my dramatics? I know, me too!* We pull into the drive thru and I order fries and a soft drink. And before you all start clowning about going to a fast food spot, keep in mind that this was far passed midnight… in Essex County… and no, I’m not a fan of Tops! ANYWAY, the cashier hands over the bag with our food, the young man hands me my soft drink and holds the bag in his lap. Okay… I’m waiting patiently and trying to not seem so anxious, so I start scrolling through pictures on Instagram. We exit the parking lot and continue on to my house. As he’s driving, he opens the bag, in my mind, to hand over my fries since that’s all I ordered. To my surprise, he starts eating the fries straight from the bag that’s sitting on his lap. Now, I’m sure many of you are wondering how I know they were my fries and not his own, right? Well, I know because he said he didn’t want any when we were ordering. By now, we’re getting closer to my house, he’s still munching on fries, and if you know me, you know I’m rolling my eyes. As we approach my house, he rolls up the bag, bids me farewell and I proceed up the stairs to my dwelling place.
Why didn’t you say something? Why not snatch the bag and demand he stop eating your fries? Why why why? The three people I’ve told this story to have asked the same. I came to the strong realization of something in those moments leading up to my departure. I don’t want to be in a relationship right now. I know, it seems a bit dramatic, but I couldn’t be more serious. While I haven’t expressed interest in jumping into that stage with this young man, let alone any other, I came to the conclusion that I’m not yet ready to share. Not just my food, but my space and time or my peace of mind. Being in a relationship is more than having one set person to call on when you’re lonely and want attention. It’s more than gifts and Instagram/Twitter PDA. It’s a commitment to sharing yourself with your partner. To taking on their good and their bad. It involves sharing your space (mental, physical and emotional) with them, even when they aren’t necessarily on your good side. And we mustn’t forget, sharing your food with them!
The lesson here is less about me not wanting to share my fries, and more about understanding what you’re getting into before committing to a relationship. It isn’t always sunshine and smiles, there will be some dark times and obstacles ahead. But it’s important to understand beforehand that the person you’re with should be a person you know has your back and will lookout for you at all costs, and vice versa. Stop letting social media posts fool you into thinking you want something you aren’t ready for! Let’s be real, a relationship is a full-time gig… you can’t just pick and choose when you want to be bothered and when it’s convenient for you not to be.
– Yolanda Danae’