Time To Take Back…

People will take and take and take until you have nothing left. And why is that you may ask? Because we continue to give. It isn’t them, it’s us. 

Every so often I go through reflection phase where I evaluate my life, where it was, where it is now and the people in it. And almost every time, I arrive to the conclusion that I’m more of a giver than I am a taker. That’s not to suggest that one is stronger than the other because both can become rather toxic rather quickly — what is implied, however, is that constantly giving so much of yourself often leaves you empty and bitter.

What happens is, we feel these things and fail to speak up out of the fear of disappointing those we care most about, usually the takers. We don’t want them, or anyone for that matter, to think we can’t handle what life throws at us (or what they throw at us) — we wan’t to be that superhero that swoops in and saves the day, every day. But as I said, the giver gets weary; especially when what you’re giving is less appreciated and more expected. Ever heard the old age question, “how much of the weight on your shoulders is actually yours to carry?” Think about it: of your stress and anxiety levels, emotional instability and so on, how much is actually because of YOUR OWN mess and not the mess you’ve agreed to take off someone else’s hands?

For the sake of your own sanity, learn to be selfish, unapologetically. Stop making everyone’s problems YOUR problems because in all honesty, takers may be upset that you’ve cut off their supply, but they’ll soon find someone else to use as a dumping ground for their issues. It’s okay to being a giving and caring person when it’s being appreciated — but don’t become so naive that you don’t recognize when you’re being used.

– Yolanda Danae’