The Waiting Game

I didn’t want this to be another rant about relationships but what the heck. Make sure y’all tune in to KrownNFR tonight from 6-8pm to hear me dig deeper into this post with novelist Bryant A. Buntin, author of Dear Women I Haven’t Slept With. And now for the rant…

I’m not exactly sure where to start with this so I’ll just jump in the best way I know how – with a question. How many of you have your mind set on who you want to be with long-term? Okay, now how many of you are actually with this person now? There’s a small part of the dating population that has in mind the person they want to be with but aren’t actually in a relationship with them. Am I talking in circles again? Perhaps. How about if I put it this way, “I’m single, but my heart is taken.” So you all get my drift. The question now remains, if your heart is taken, why are you single? Let’s find out.

In some cases, both men and women play what I like to call the waiting game. They stay single, going out on dates every now and again but create enough distance between themselves and the person they’re dating so that they won’t get “too attached.” The reason for doing so is obvious; when you’re waiting, hoping, even praying to have that “old thing back,” you build up a wall preventing anyone from getting in with hopes that the one you’re waiting for is doing the same. It works in a way, in my mind at least, that allows both people to work out their kinks apart so they’ll be better together. Think about a basketball team, in a broad sense, they are one, but in reality they are all moving parts of a big machine. When the moving parts aren’t performing properly or they’re just not in the best of shape, the machine (team) will not function at its best. The same in relationships; When both people have things they need to work on, sometimes it’s best to part ways, strengthen the areas where you fall short and comeback new and improved.

It sounds good and actually makes a lot of sense right? I thought so too, until this very moment. With all things come the good and the bad. And it wouldn’t be right to withhold the bad. When deciding to play the waiting game, one should keep in mind that just because you’ve decided to wait, doesn’t mean the one you’re waiting for has decided the same. While you’re ducking and dodging the good people who enter your life because you don’t want to get “too attached,” the one you’re waiting for could very well move on to one of those good people who entered their life. This isn’t meant to contradict myself, but what I want you to take away from all this is simple; What is meant to be will be, without your or anyone else’s interference. Take time to work on you because if the person you THINK you want is truly supposed to be in your life, you’ll be prepared when it happens. And if for some reason the two of you don’t reach that point again, you won’t be too disappointed for waiting weeks, months, or even years because you allowed life to run its course. Remember, it’s okay to hope for the things you want, but allow yourself to be open and flexible if they don’t happen in your way or on your time.

– Yolanda Danae’