The Side Piece

The title pretty much explains itself. Let’s jump in.

We all are familiar with the term “O.P.P.” and if not, it stands for “Other Peoples Property” –meaning someone else’s man or woman. By a show of hands, how many of you have ever been involved with OPP, or by today’s terminology, played the role of the “side piece?” Okay, now how many of you have been on the opposite side — having someone pursing your man or woman? Now I can almost bet that there are more of you who will admit to being a victim than there are people who will admit to being the culprit. And why that is, is pretty simple — many people don’t see there being any harm in their actions. Shall I continue?

When it comes to being a side chick/side dude, we only see one side of the story. We view the “side piece” as being trashy, insecure, and disrespectful. And before you jump the gun, by no means am I suggesting that becoming involved with someone else’s boyfriend or girlfriend is “OKAY.” But what I am suggesting is that there is often more to the story. I don’t believe every person that is labeled a side piece has malicious intent in the beginning — let alone at all. What happens sometimes, is a connection between two people, intended to be purely innocent. And over time, these people become friends — they become someone who encourages you, laughs with you, and brings about a person you otherwise didn’t know was within you. But then things start changing. From speaking here and there, the two of you are speaking on a more frequent basis. You’re seeing one another after work, on the weekends, and are in constant communication. And then the inevitable happens, someone catches feelings.

Eventually realizing how bad the situation could potentially become, you try to end the friendship. But by now, you’re in way too deep. So what do you do? How do you break free? How do you force the heart to feel one way when the brain feels another? I have a solution — not an easy one, but a doable one.

The best thing I can think of is distance and reality. In the moment, it all feels like the exact thing you’ve been searching for. But if I’ve said this once, I’ve said it twice: The one that is meant for you will not come in the form of someone else’s man or woman. And you have to remind yourself of that no matter how smitten you become. Sure the thrill of it all gives you a rush and a high like none other, but eventually, you will come crashing down. You’ve got to look at the situation for what it really is and understand the reality of it all. You are being deprived of proper affection, time and importantly, love. And whether or not you choose to think of it like this, when the lust fest is over, he/she returns home to their rightful owner without the slightest thought of you.

Remember, you don’t have to settle for anything you don’t want to settle for. But understand this: Sooner or later, it all catches up to you…

Yolanda Danae’