Something To Work On…

Sometimes it takes driving home alone to finally realize, “Hey, there are some things I could work on.”

Last weekend while driving home from a night out, I began reflecting on some key aspects of my personality; particularly my dominant demeanor. “Why do I have to constantly be in control of what happens, when it happens, and how it happens?” Well, because I’m a bit of a control freak. Again, I’m backed against the question board: “Why are you a control freak?” Clearly this was a long drive home (laughs). Eventually I concluded that the reason I need to be in constant control is because I don’t trust anyone else to take the lead. Now I know what you’re thinking, “How can you say other people aren’t capable of taking control when you never give them the opportunity to do so?” It’s me guys, you know I have an answer for everything lol.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always had a take charge approach to things. My parents taught me to never wait on anyone to make a move… that if I wanted something to happen, I had to make it happen on my own. And I guess that in itself helped me get so far in life when it comes to business and education. But it also it what sometimes holds me back in more personal matters. Let me dig a little deeper.

Last night in the laundromat, I was on the phone with one of my girlfriends who had placed me on hold to speak with her significant other. Her entire demeanor changed from dominant to submissive in a matter of seconds. Now please don’t get it confused, she’s one of the strongest and most “about-her-business” women I know. When it comes to relationships, however, she sits back and allows her partner to take charge. In a way, that’s something I admire about her. She’s able to find a balance between allowing her mate to take the lead but still maintains comfort in knowing she holds power.

I’m all over the place with this, bear with me guys.

I think the underlying concept of today’s rant is this: Nobody likes a control freak. There are times when one is to lead and other times when one is to follow. It’s okay to sit back and allow someone else to exercise leadership — not only in personal relationships, but in business, friendships, etc. Remember, allowing someone to lead does not deprive you of the opportunity to do so. How can anyone show what they’re made of if you have to be in charge of what and how they show you?

– Yolanda Danae’