Out Of The Darkness: A New Conversation…
You keep it all inside because that’s the safest place to hide it…
In the last week, I had my usual case of Monday blues, but what was most unusual about it all was that the feeling lasted the entire week. My routine was the same in the sense that nothing out of the norm had taken place, but I just didn’t feel it. It was as if a dark cloud hovered above my head and not only did it put a damper on my mood, but the cloud continued to grow as the days went on. A friend of mine suggested that we meet up to lift my spirits but I declined. “Being around people,” I advised, “would only make it worse.” Another of my friends questioned what triggered the indescribable “sadness” I felt, but to no avail. There was nothing for me to describe. I wasn’t happy. But I wasn’t reasonably sad either. I wasn’t depressed, but I didn’t feel like myself. It was simply a combined feeling of all of the thoughts and feelings I’d suppressed over the past few months all bottled into one. My motivation to do anything had gone down the drain, and I just couldn’t make sense of it, let alone explain it to others. Eventually, my best friend prompted me out on my lunch break for us to talk over drinks and he suggested that I may just be overwhelmed and suffering from stress or anxiety. Over feeling down in the dumps, I began to do a little research.
Approximately 40 million American adults ages 18 and older have an anxiety disorder. Anxiety disorders are a category of mental disorders characterized by feelings of anxiety and fear, where anxiety is a worry about future events and fear is a reaction to current events. These feelings may cause physical symptoms, such as a racing heart and shakiness.(medicinenet.com) Stress is the feeling we have when under pressure, while stressors are the things we respond to in our environment. Examples of stressors are noises, unpleasant people, a speeding car, or even going out on a first date. (medicalnewstoday.com)
While I am in no way, shape, or form a doctor, physiologist or psychiatrist, I am a real person who suffered a real life problem. All too often, many of us have the same or similar feelings like the ones I described above and just hope they fade away. And sometimes they do, but not for everyone. There are people who go through life every single day forcing themselves to “keep it together” to save face. But what I want to share with you all today is that your feelings belong to you, and it’s your obligation to yourself to maintain a healthy mental and emotional state of being.
If you or someone you know may be suffering from anxiety, depression, or just a stress overload, visit www.adaa.org for help.
– Yolanda Danae’