It’s Not True Because I Don’t Believe It

“You keep falling victim cause you’re insecure… And when I tell you that you’re beautiful you can’t be sure” – J. Cole

How many times do you get complimented and quickly dismiss the statement? Be it your smile that you hate or your skin that you know is anything but flawless, when someone points out beauty in  your flaws, you (we) often shrug it off. But why? Simply put — what we don’t see in ourselves, we don’t expect others to see either. It’s as simple as that. The other day someone called me beautiful, and I’m sure you already know what my response was due to today’s topic. Smiling bashfully, I replied “Yeah, yeah, sure I am.” Here I was in faded denim, a Rangers t-shirt and old sneakers. I didn’t feel “beautiful” but rather regular. To truly know me is to know that I take NOTHING at face value and rarely ever internalize compliments that I don’t actually feel to be genuine. Now we introduce the issue of insecurity. Like most people, I feel my best when I look my best. And my best could very well vary between leggings and an old sweatshirt to a form fitting dress and heels, it all depends on what look I’m aiming for that particular day. My point is, if I don’t believe I look beautiful, fabulous and amazing today, I don’t expect others to either.

And that’s a problem. We’ve got to learn to sometimes take things for what they are. I’m not suggesting you let the compliments fill your head with hot hair, but what I am saying is a simple “thank you” is enough. Today’s rant was short for a reason, there’s no need to drag out a simple lesson. If you first cannot find the beauty that is within you, inside and out, you’ll always question what other people see in you when you don’t see it in yourself.

– Yolanda Danae’