It’s Confirmed… He Has A Girlfriend

It’s Confirmed… He Has A Girlfriend

So you survived another date-less Valentine’s Day! Restaurants were jam packed Tuesday night, 50 Shades Darker was sold out, and I’m sure just about every gas station and highway salesman were completely out of red roses. And while some of us may be single, at least we were able to watch the surprise edible arrangement deliveries, snaps of candlelit stair cases with rose petals leading up bedrooms and many “morning after” off guard pictures. What we didn’t prepare for, I suppose, was all of the reveal announcements on Instagram, Facebook, and SnapChat. All of these single men were now posted up with their leading ladies, boo thangs, Queens, and hearts in human form. My only question is, were they this in love when sliding in dm’s just the day before?

Say what you want, but we all witnessed the girlfriend reveals Tuesday. Scrolling through my timeline on Instagram, smiling, double tapping, commenting, I was shocked a few times by what I had seen. At least four guys I KNOW have been in my dm’s or my homegirl’s dm’s were now expressing their unwavering love for longtime girlfriends who had held them down when times were rough. Some guys even went as far as to tag their significant others leaving us outsiders to go on an adventure to find out exactly when then unbreakable bond had been formed. More times than not, though, their pages were private. Lack of extensive evidence means nothing when the proof is in the pudding or uh, in the post.

Now that your beau has been found out, what do you do? First you screenshot the pictures for proof because by the time we hit the weekend, they’ll be gone. Of course you have to fill your girls in so you start a group chat and circulate the images because after all, they know how consistent dude has been with trying to chill with you. After all the laughs in the group chat, you plan out the conversation you’re going to have when he hits you  up. “How you doing today beautiful? I haven’t heard from you in a few days.” “Mmhm, how is your little girlfriend doing?” You run this conversation over in your head, working out all of his possible responses and all of your possible rebuttals. He finally hits you up, the moment you’ve been waiting for and what do you do? “I’m good, just been a lil busy. Sorry for not reaching out.” This is the problem.

Why is it that we settle for the bare minimum when it comes to these guys and the way we allow ourselves to be treated? Everyone has their own reasoning. Maybe you feel like some attention is better than no attention. Maybe you think this is as good as its going to get for you, so you settle. No matter what it is, all you’ve really managed to accomplish was to show him and every other man that you’re willing to beg for and show appreciation for less than a quarter of his best. The moment you realize your worth is the moment you’ll show it off – you’ll stop texting back, stop taking Lyfts to his house at 2am, stop allowing him to treat you like you don’t matter.

Listen, you all will do what you want, but the point of today’s rant is to serve as a reminder that the feelings you had on Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be ignored because you “really have feelings” for dude. The little bit of time and effort you get from his is basically the scraps and leftovers from the one he’s claiming. While shorty is catching flights, you’re home alone, catching feelings. Boss up baby, it’s time to do better.

– Yolanda Danae’