I Think He Put Me In The Friendzone

I Think He Put Me In The Friendzone

We’ve all experienced a time where we have been unexpectedly put into the friendzone. Don’t try to act like you’ve never been mid-conversation with your crush and he tells you how much of a sister you are to him. Or when you’re out with a group of friends and someone asks if “y’all talk” and shorty laughs and says “You real funny.” To save face, you go along with it, pretending like you aren’t bothered by the fact that you’ve just been curved, acting as if you don’t feel how that ugly frog on the meme looks. But you don’t let that get you down for too long, because Mama ain’t raise no quitter! You have an unwavering drive that won’t allow you to settle for a punch on the arm and a “good looks bro” from the guy you’ve been eyeing for months. You can’t imagine yourself taking her out for drinks and listening to her talk about the scammer dude she going out with later. No, you are determined to be the one who makes it out of the friendzone.

As with every post here on The Sassy Rant, there’s always a back story. Well, a few weeks ago, I was talking with a friend that I had declared (in the group chat) to be my new bae. Now, I use “bae” loosely in this context as it, for me, represents a dude who has joint potential – and yes, more of my idioms. Anyway, we’re talking about something I can’t completely remember, not that it matters any, and suddenly he throws in a “sis” at the end of his statement. Something maybe like, “You know what I mean, Sis?” Immediately, I jumped in the chat and told the girls how bae had just sis’d me and how I wasn’t completely sure if it was a sis sis like sister, or if it was a regular sis like sisssss. I realize that in order to understand my sayings you have to have been around me before to grasp fully the point I’m making, so I know my friend are getting a kick out of this. Anyway, the girls attempted to console me after the shock of what I had just experienced by telling me that he could’ve just used sis as an expression in the way I use chile, girl, son, etc. and that it’d be in my best interest to make a move before someone else did.

Of course I didn’t listen and have since fake smiled several times during conversations about women he’s been seeing. I can count on one hand the times I’ve ever made the first move and still have fingers left! Let’s be real, rejection is not a good feeling at all, let alone the feeling of expressing interest in someone who may really see you has being one of the guys and having to deal with the awkwardness that follows. As I see it, you can either wait around for them to pick up on your flirty hints – you know, resting your hand on their shoulder, calling (and they know you hate talking on the phone) just to see how their day is going, etc. OR you can be like me – wait until you’ve been friendzoned and look for ways to make your grand exit.

As the idea of escaping the friendzone rolled over in my mind, I stated to wonder why we work so hard to avoid being placed there. I mean, I get the obvious reasons – you’re head over heels and infatuated so who would willingly want to give up that feeling? But has it ever occurred to you (and yes, I’m talking to myself here as well) that some relationships are meant to be strictly platonic? Why has there been a sudden transfer of pressure from genuine friendship to now this extreme desire of coupling? Again, I get it, you want to be in a relationship, have someone you can send thirst traps to while they’re in a meeting with their boss, and importantly, to stunt on your ex who’s been (though you hate to admit it) stunting on you with his new chick all over social media. What if being curved is the universe’s way of saying, “Nah sis, he ain’t it.” Or “Hol’ up B, not her.” I think it’s time we stop thinking about this as an obstacle we have to get over and accept one of two (maybe both) things: 1. Not this one, or 2. Not right now.

Everything you think you want isn’t always everything you need. Sure it’s tempting to want to break-free of the FZ but sometimes, you’re actually better off there. Instead of spending so much time obsessing over whether or not you showed the person enough interest so they’d pick up on it that you were feeling them, how about actually investing that energy into someone who actually likes you? All I’m saying is, there’s nothing wrong with a person wanting to be just friends with you – after all, once they see how dope you are, they might come to their senses lol.

Yolanda Danae’