Facing Your Feelings
“Just remember; Never be afraid of your feelings…” – R.H.S
When you’re dealing with an overload of emotions — a bad break-up, death of a loved one, etc., the first action one typically takes is avoidance. We don’t want to want to take the time think about and assess what we’re feeling. But why? Well, in my opinion, it’s because we’re afraid… Yes, myself included.
Recently a friend and I agreed that we’d be better off “parting ways” to live our lives separately, indefinitely. We had this conversation like two adults and even chatted for a bit afterwards. The issue… my issue, once the conversation ended I was left to process what we had just spoken about and truthfully, for whatever reason, I didn’t want think about it. So rather than sit and internalize it like I often do, I pulled out my phone and started talking to another friend. That’s when the question popped in my head: why are you so afraid to face your feelings?
Realizing that calling or texting someone new to fill the place of this other person in order to be comfortable in my routine wouldn’t help my situation in the long run. And it isn’t helping your situation either. What I’ve come to understand is the convenience of avoidance — it’s easy to revert our attention to things that won’t force us to feel. Think of the alcoholic who gets drunk after having a bad day, after being late for work or after breaking up with a partner. Consider the drug abuser chasing a high to avoid the things that plague them mentally and emotionally. Even the shopaholic constantly splurging on things she doesn’t need in order to fill her empty spaces with material things. We all share one thing in common : fear of our feelings.
What I hope you all take away from today’s rant is that you can run, but you can’t hide forever. The pain eventually catches up to you and stings ten times worse. Your feelings belong to you and it’s no one else’s duty to tend to them but yours. Fear of what cannot kill should be put in its place. Stop running from the pain and address it because sooner or later, you will get caught.
– Yolanda Danae’