Can Men And Women Be Just Friends?

It’s an age-old question that is still being debated to this very day; can two people of the opposite sex have a strictly platonic relationship without having any romantic interest in one another? Well, that depends.

While I do believe it’s very possible for men and women to be just friends, I also believe that the situation depends on the circumstances. Recently, a male friend of mine “re-connected” with a girl from his past that has no problem expressing her concern and dislike for my friends’ number of female confidants. Particularly, his three best friends – notice I didn’t say “best female friends,” but BEST FRIENDS. Anyway, she’s constantly making snide remarks when he goes out with one of us or the fact that we sometimes call one another past 10p.m. Now I know what some of you are thinking, “If y’all are just friends, why are y’all calling past ‘normal’ friendship hours?” I’ll tell you why, because it’s part of an established routine that was put in place before you became part of the equation.

Now I feel myself getting off track, bear with me.

Putting myself in her shoes, I would be a bit uneasy about the guy I’m talking to having so many female friends. BUT, I’d also be receptive to the fact that these are women he and his family consider family. Not only that, but their bonds were formed before I even stepped onto the scene. Now by no means am I suggesting that any of you, male or female naively assume that every girl/guy around your partner or potential partner is solely a friend. This goes back to what I mentioned earlier, that the situation depends on the circumstances. Were they always friends? Did they date back in the day? Did one of them curve the other? We’re they ever “friends with benefits”? See what I mean? There are so many factors to consider when going with the flow of things. What it all boils down to is this:

You can’t allow your own personal insecurities or past experiences overpower your use of logical thinking. If your mate has friends of the opposite sex before you, chances are, they aren’t going to get rid of them, (if their intentions are pure) because YOU are uncomfortable. My advice for those of you who have issues with it; find the root of YOUR problem, express it to your partner, and make a conscious effort to work past it. Remember, a male/female will choose a genuine friend over an insecure partner almost every time.

– Yolanda Danae’